I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
