Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
