You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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