i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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