whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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