It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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