Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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