Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize