one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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