worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
