I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
