It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
