I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Watching her eat just hurts me
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
