His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
