There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
