i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
