If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.