I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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