ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
