Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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