cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
