I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
