Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
