Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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