I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
