It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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