i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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