Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
