What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize