My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize