i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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