So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
