i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
