do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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