omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
