just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Two words: blizzard sex
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
