Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
