Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
