I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
