i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
