i permit you to call me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I will be naked everywhere
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
