Where did you get a picture of my penis
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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