Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
