so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
