ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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