I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
