i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
