After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
