I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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