Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
