Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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