I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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