I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
