it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
