i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
