I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
