in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
