So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
